# Friday, December 26, 2008
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Back around the start of November we were sat around having a relaxing evening when we spotted an ad on T.V. with a URL link plastered under it's closing shot. It's one of those things that tends to start random banter and the discussion turned to everyday things which must have a website but you'd apart from the normal corporate fluff you never really think the is going to be much of interest on them.

Now normally you end up being right about this, but sometimes these train of thoughts lead somewhere far more interesting.

Now most parts of England have a Greggs shop. I wasn't aware of this until I just nipped back on the site to check it out again, and I even seem to remember a chain in my hometown in the northeast with the same logo but under a different brand. Corporate buy out over the years or a franchise I do not know (and more to the point not really relevant) but all you need to know is that these type of pastie shops are your working class staple. From hungry office workers to your average chav the great British public would be at a loss without these pie emporiums at lunch time.

We salute you.

Now being sat around bored we started to think how can we make this grand institution ever better. We browsed the site and came upon the section labeled "Contact Us" and noticed they let you send comments and suggestions in. Now we mulled this over for a while and tried to come up with the ultimate pastie experience that we could bestow upon the world, and after a few minutes of banter one suggestion raised it's head above it's breathen and we quickly submitted the one idea which we knew had to come to fruitation.

The Pot Noodle Pastie.

We combine the two ultimate lunch time snack items into one glorious meal.

Without a moment's thought for our own personal gain we submitted the idea to the people at Greggs. We could have marketed and brought it to the mass's ourselves we thought but we would be doing it a disservice if we didn't get it out there as quickly as possible. Greggs seemed the supply mechanism to do it. We could change the world!!!

Fast forward a week and big Dave the instigator of this received back a standardized automated response thanking him for his query. We were stunned that our vision was being shrugged aside so easily. So we took it upon ourselves to make real what up to this point had only been an idea in the deepest recess of our minds.

Feast your eyes upon the greatness that is: A Pot Noodle Pastie

-------------------------------------------------------------

First things first through. You have to decide just what delights you wish to find inside your pastie when you bite into it. After a discussion we plumped for two of the finest flavors the oldskool Chicken & Mushroom and the pretender to the throne the Bombay Bad Boy (surely this should be rebranded to Mumbai Bad Boy?!?!?)



Next up you need to sort out your pastery. You want a nice light puff pastry really and whilst we have a chef among us, the fact is we all have things we'd rather be doing than making it up from scratch so for the purpose of this experiment we've got some from the local store.



Once you've arranged and prepared your pastry you need to make up your pot noodles as normal. Add in the hot water as well as the flavoring (to taste) and then let it cool a bit.



Then take the noodles and all their goodness and apply to your pastry bases like so.



It's important to remember to score the tops of these before placing in the oven other rise the steam given off may cause your pasties to explode and open a hole in the space time continuum (or they may just make a mess of your oven... dare you risk it through?). You may also wish to give them a egg yolk glaze too at this point in order to get that nice golden brown pastie finish.



Next place them onto a tray and stick them into a pre heated oven (around 200 degrees centigrade) for around 20 mins. Just keep checking them till they look something like this.



Hmmm. Tasty.

But who will try these marvelous creations? For some reason it fell to yours truly to take the first bite.



Notice the look of apprehension on my face?



NomNomNomNomNom

Then came Keith.



And then Dave the Iron Chef took hold of them.



And then after stopping for a pose with his masterpiece set about taking a bite himself.



Last up to the table is Paul who set about munching them with great vigor (and with the knowledge that all three of us were still alive at this point)



And the verdict?

WIN!

The chicken and mushroom lost a lot of it's taste during the cooking process. Discussion of maybe adding chicken stock and fresh mushrooms to it may improve the flavor but your diluting from the overall pot noodlyness of it all. The Bombay Bad Boy through was a taste sensation only improved by the pastienasation of it into a food stuff fit for the gods.

We've discussed various other pasties based around great british foodstuffs and we have a few further ideas in the pipeline. If you represent Greggs or another such firm and wish to get in on the ground floor then mail us for licensing options.

Friday, December 26, 2008 2:06:51 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [23]  | 
Friday, December 26, 2008 7:18:34 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
I think you'll find that that is PUFF pastry and not FILO, you great bunch of FILOs.

I challenge you to create a pasty incorporating Pedigree Chum and see if anyone can tell the difference.
MBFOS
Friday, December 26, 2008 8:19:48 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Just checked second packet in fringe and you are indeed right. Currection made.

You know the chances are your right with that ingredent swap but I don't fancy being the one to find out. We could do a russian roulette game involving one through.
Pete Kaine
Saturday, December 27, 2008 1:01:49 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Pete,

This is a freaking great idea and well written up. (Thank goodness for spell-check ay?)

But you need wider coverage of this, (illustrated by the fact that I didnt know anything about it and live not 5 mins away from you) Have you informed B3ta? This could be something they could be interested in and could give you the limelight you require.

Pasties,

love Jamie
Jamie Walsh
Saturday, December 27, 2008 8:37:51 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
One would suggest that you've not been spending your recomended daily slacking time on the aforementioned site sir otherwise you would have already have seen the post in the links section mate.

Remember. All your pasties are belong to us.
Pete Kaine
Thursday, January 08, 2009 3:59:08 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
How about a dessert pasty of Nutella and peanut butter? Britannia with a gooey Americana filling?

Ren
Ren Kelly
Friday, January 09, 2009 1:59:23 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
You need to clean your kitchen...its filthy. How's the salmonella kicking in?
MrMagoo
Friday, January 09, 2009 4:02:05 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
I am not a representative of Greggs, but I am a fat Northern lass, so I'm the next best thing. I applaud your culinary efforts. I'd make some for tea but I fear the wife would kick me all over the house if she returned from work to find one on her plate. The Phillistine.

I look forward to seeing more experiments. A chips and curry sauce one would be very interesting. Has to be proper smooth North-East (ie. Newcastle/Sunderland/Washington) curry sauce though, not weak, lumpy, poofy Southern stuff (anywhere South of Bowburn).
FatMackem
Friday, January 09, 2009 6:54:14 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
its a shame this wont work, as the only way it will work is if Consumerlink Unilever (owners of potnoodle)give you special rights too.
Cause if you try to market this, technically its their product and they'll get Trading standards onto you :(

Also the reason why Greggs didnae accept it.

but damn its a good idea and i'll be making one of these :D
John20
Friday, January 09, 2009 7:21:53 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Tidy your house up you tramp.
Hitler
Friday, January 09, 2009 8:00:14 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
please, please, please, if you can't be arsed to learn to spell, at least use some form of spelling & grammar checker.
mictoboy
Saturday, January 10, 2009 1:29:05 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
@mictoboy
I like your post. Starting a sentence with a lowercase letter makes me very hot.
yobotcim
Saturday, January 10, 2009 2:58:07 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Pastie and noodles was for years our standby dinner when neither of us had remembered to go out and buy something. Why did we never think of this sophisticated alternative?
Rachel
Sunday, January 11, 2009 8:55:25 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
"It's" is not a possessive fucking pronoun.
Next time and it's down the nick, sunshine.
Grammoh Perlice
Sunday, January 11, 2009 5:32:37 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
this is a fabulous idea, pot noodle is dirty i tell thee, i love chicken and mushroom pot noodles so much. i have taken to a pot noodle toastie, other variants have included brocolli and marmite...but nothing really hits the spot like a pot noodle, i have the pot noodle horn now, i'm off to get one.

Monday, January 12, 2009 12:45:36 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Pasta + Pastry - must be a winner!

It has been done before, to some extent, as the Macaroni Pie. A staple of the Scottish workie's diet - but has never been sold in pastie form as far as Im aware.
Jamie
Tuesday, January 13, 2009 1:24:36 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Whoa! Those look way better than I imagined they would... But I guess if you're combining two superfoods, then you can't really go too far wrong. I'm definitely gonna try this myself, thanks for the tip!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009 10:29:36 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Brilliant! I don't know how this isn't an actual product! Just rebrand it as PastieNoodle and get round all the product licencing laws!

Regarding the dogfood pastie Russian roulette, another stroke of genius were it not for the fact that dogfood is actually quite tasty. I can attest to that, as some of you may remember from a while back.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009 11:30:00 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
greggs is actually "greggs of gosforth" (as in newcastle), so the ones in the north east were probably initial takeovers early on.
Oh and mr gregg's daughter lives in a lighthouse. sweet, muchly want to live in a lighthouse, but not in Australia, that's asking for trouble.
HeartySteakSlice
Wednesday, January 21, 2009 8:38:37 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
Dude... f'in SWEET-as. The pot noodle sandwich I have found to be a winner - but I am sore tempted to go out to Tescos now and confuse the cashier with this variant on the "two item freakout game" (it's no ClearBlue and Coathanger, but if they raise even half a quizzical eyebrow it's going to warrant a full explanation). I've not long had my dinner and all this has made me hungry again. Not sure there's anything decent left in the fridge.

Plus if you can tell us a really cheap way of making the pastry for ourselves (e.g. one half morrisons basics flour, one half brick dust), that plus the dogfood could be a budget-enhancing and probably quite tasty lunchtime treat for the average student (which I sadly no longer am, but retain many of the principles), maybe even rivalling Greggs' own magnificent steak bake (as honoured in Still Game by the Beefybake).

BTW, down here in yon midlands, it was Braggs The Baker 'til there was obviously some kind of buyout or brand realignment or what-have-you. There's some more staunchly local rival a little up the road replete with a small seating area... but as I've never been in (not chavvy enough to properly satisfy the kind of hunger that drives you to buy a high street pastie), I can't remember its name, just that it purports to be the "Staffordshire Baker". Which is confusing as I have to drive for fifteen solid minutes just to be able to spit on Staffs. *dodges flames*

Finally - though they could quite easily, and probably a bit more cheaply (as pot noodles are considerably more expensive than the average greggs pastie, particularly the king pots) make their own savoury noodle filling, the serving size might be an issue. Yours look like epic hunger destroyers, and I've no problem with that, but measure them against the average ginsters let alone a greggses... they're monsters... they'd have to price them so high to either stay in profit, or at least be able to keep the existing prices on their smaller product, that hardly any would sell. Maybe ones that use half a king pot - or a whole normal one or fun-size one* - would be better suited to corporate bakeration?

The peanut butter and nutella idea is also win, but it's got to be the CRUNCHY peanut. And maybe have a vein of caramel in it to make it a sni... MARATHON PASTIE. Plus some kind of marking on it and a special shelf in the oven to avoid cross-contamination of allergens.

* actually I'd warn against these. there seems to be something wrong with them. both the flavour and the noodle texture is just -dodgy-. Maybe they've got some kind of special kiddie-addicting but legal drug added to them, and they're a bit mushy to avoid choking?
tahrey
Tuesday, January 27, 2009 10:16:08 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
SCUM
Noodle Hater
Tuesday, January 27, 2009 10:20:19 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
you all look like pasty eaters, you filthy student lamo's
content crew
Tuesday, January 27, 2009 11:05:12 AM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
GET A JOB
latman
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 6:38:03 PM (GMT Standard Time, UTC+00:00)
I really want a Kung-Po Chicken pasty right now. :(
Pete
Comments are closed.